Dear Friends,
Today I received an email from a Matching Supporter about the candidate they are working with. Please read:
I had talked about OMS when I first started working with my candidate, and it was mentioned that the candidate didn't like the idea of communicating anonymously with another candidate and preferred to know who the candidate was before beginning a conversation.
My Response to the Matching Supporter below:
No one should begin a conversation without knowing with whom they are talking. I agree with this viewpoint.
The purpose of the anonymity on OMS
During a preliminary search, a picture is going to distract and most likely mis-lead the reader about the soul and heart of the actual person. Though we are very capable of passing judgment, unfortunately the accuracy of our judgement is flawed. For example, we can look at a picture – and say, “Woah this person looks great” but you could be looking at a dark-minded individual.
True Father could read picture, and even for Him it was not easy.
Therefore, I don’t believe in pictures for first impressions.
On OMS – a candidate will read profiles first. A good profile should speak about who this person is in earnest. If the candidate connects with what is written in a particular profile after reading and praying about the different profiles available, a question(s) may arise. The anonymous messaging system becomes relevant and useful at this point. Parents to Parents as well as Candidates to Candidates can ask important questions or state some important facts while still remaining private using the anonymous messaging system.
Examples:
Dear Parents, we have read the profile of your daughter and we believe that she might be a very good candidate for our son. However, we read this “I have the tendency to be a loner and sometimes I feel I will not mind living alone my whole life” – would it be possible for her and or you to elaborate?
-----
Dear Candidate, I have read your profile and I would be very interested in starting an earnest conversation with you, however, I wanted to let you know, upfront, this situation of mine. I do not know for sure, but it is possible that I will have difficulty conceiving a child. It is something that runs in my lineage. Some women do and some don’t and it cannot be found until I tried.
-----
Dear Candidate, I contracted hepatitis while in college. Doctors says that I am now completely cured but wanted you to know before we establish contact. I have read your profile. I like the way you think and would not mind starting a conversation with you.
-----
These 3 statements above could have been shared via the anonymous messaging system. If an answer is not what you are looking for then, you can easily dismiss the profile – with no harm to either party’s feelings or honor. You could be sitting next to each other in the future because of an event or something and will not have to feel awkward or ashamed.
If a profile is especially attractive, then it is time to make actual contact – A request for Full Profile – should be initiated. If the response is not granted – then the person will disappear from your list of candidates. If the Full Profile is granted then the two people can start their 21-Days introduction phase in earnest.
I hope this short document is helpful.
Sincerely,
Anne-Marie Mylar
Administrator of the Online Matching System (OMS)
No comments:
Post a Comment